First of all, this is a very common feeling and nothing to be ashamed of. Now I hope, this doesn’t make you feel even less special!
Here’s the thing: The need to feel special is something that’s very deep-rooted in human nature.
The need to be special
Now when I say this, some people might say that this is not true for them and they don’t WANT to be special because wanting to be special and the centre of attention does not align with their self-image. And they feel this is some sort of weakness or character flaw.
Yet the same people might still EXPECT other people to treat them differently or else they will be terribly disappointed and feel hurt and rejected. Not acknowledging the need to feel special won’t make it go away, it will still reveal itself in how you react in certain situations.
Maybe you feel like you have nothing special to offer because you EXPECT too much from others.
Let’s say you read a few amazing testimonials on someone else’s sales page and you instantly wonder why YOU don’t have testimonials like this. Maybe that person is special and you are not?
Or you post on social media hoping for a lot of engagement and then – NOTHING. Why aren’t people reacting? Is it because you’re not special and you have no value to add?
Well, here’s a thought: Maybe, people are just busy. They get distracted easily. They don’t watch your every move.
Success is not a prerequisite for being special & worthy
Today’s sales pros also started at zero at some point. Having lots of follower, customers or testimonials didn’t MAKE them special and worthy. They were just as special and worthy BEFORE they got successful. Just like you are.
If there are other people out there already successfully doing what you want to do – it’s not a sign that you should NOT go for it and that what you offer is nothing special. It means that you have picked a proven and validated niche that has been shown to work for others. So good on ya! 🙂
Self-worth and the need to be special
If you often feel that others should go out of their way to prove their love and loyalty to you and you find yourself repeating patterns where you try to manipulate other into making exceptions of some kind for you, you might want to ask yourself this:
Is my self-worth tied to being recognised as someone special? Is this true for me?
I know this sounds brutal, and it’s really hard to admit that this might be the case, but it’s the only way you’ll be able to break that pattern.
I think there was certainly some truth in that for me.
Proving your worth
I can’t quite remember if anyone really said “You’re nothing special.” to me when I was a kid, but that was what it felt like. And it really hurt. Cause in my head being nothing special questioned my worth and made me less lovable.
And I guess I’ve always worked really hard to prove my worth to others and I’ve been looking for outer rewards and recognition to feel good about myself. And yes, sometimes I might still expect my husband to read my mind or just generally do more to make me feel special and loved.
Maybe it’s the same for you – you felt unseen & unheard as a kid and then had a hard time seeing your worth. It was hard for you to trust people and you were always waiting for someone to go the extra mile and make you feel worthy and special.
But let me tell you one thing: You are worthy. Everyone is. Just like that. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You are worthy and lovable just the way you are.
You don’t need permission to feel good about yourself.
You don’t have to get fancy degrees, built a successful business you don’t really care about, and have your beautiful home featured in a magazine.
You don’t have to earn millions to be worthy.
You don’t need approval to feel good about yourself.
All you have to do is DECIDE. Decide that you’re worthy and start believing it.
There’s only one YOU
And you don’t have to prove that you are special either. You are unique. Nobody has the exact same set of skills and experiences as you do.
And there are people out there who resonate with you and your story. Who need to hear YOUR story in exactly the way only YOU can tell it!
Your story can move mountains for others!
Those people are your tribe, the people who recognise your special sauce. And it’s wonderful to find those soul mates! It validates you and you feel loved.
But remember, whether or not you’ve already found those people, you are still special, and worthy, and you have value to give.
Like a tree is still a tree even if nobody is there to confirm that it’s a tree.
Believing in your own worth
If you have a hard time believing in your worth, get my free daily affirmations for entrepreneurs audio file and listen to it every morning to prime your brain with the new belief you want to anchor.
Repetition is key for anchoring a new belief so don’t expect this to work overnight! Give it a good 2-3 months of daily practice and watch how things will change for you.
Because that’s about the time it takes to create and strengthen new neuronal pathways in your brain. I hope this helped! Let me know how you go with the brain priming!
Thank you so much for this monolgue. It is exactly what I needed. I sat here and sobbed. (Still crying) really appreciate every word. Namaste
You are so welcome, Amy! Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you. 🙂
Boy are you wrong. I have accepted that I mean nothing to this world. A few minutes looking over the Pale Blue Dot and just living life enforce that.
The world could swallow me whole and not know it. That goes for all of us, no matter how fervently we may believe that we are the bright, chewy center of the Universe. No one is.
Have you no sense for the Universe? You are less than a microbe in it. And guess what? People mean even less than that to you. I long ago decided not to look for a square deal, friends for life, momentary respect, from a race that just simply cannot even conceive how unimportant it is. It’s not about being happy. The Cosmos could give a shit. You don’t matter. I don’t matter. None of it matters. Live and die. You’ll be missed for a few minutes, but then American Idol will be on and you’ll be forgotten.
I’m so sorry to hear that you feel this way. I really am. I’m not here to tell you what to believe. YOU get to choose your beliefs. You can keep believing those stories you tell yourself and have a miserable life or you can change those stories and change your life. If I’m wrong, I still live a great life. If you are wrong, you’re missing out big time. I think that in the end, it’s not about who is right or wrong, it’s about finding the beliefs and stories that enable you to find meaning and joy in this big mess called life. If you don’t think that’s possible, read “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl and let’s talk!